The Best Nap Is When You're Sleeping

Tragedy and Injustice

2008-01-05T12:32:00.000-08:00

I’m in a motel. I look out my window, I see a plane about to crash into a hotel/house next door. I’m on the phone with Hope? Or someone else? And I freak out over the phone. “Have you SEEN this? You will see this on the news in one second.”

I gather with the other motel people, after just staring out my window for a long time, trying to guess if we have to evacuate or if we’re okay where we are. I ask people about it, ask if we can stay, etc. I’m think, I should move my car. I see it in the middle of the parking lot alone, so I go move it to the other end of the parking lot, away from the crash.

Then I’m at Aunt Elaine’s or maybe in the hotel with Aunt Elaine and extended family. There are other people there, maybe relatives from Uncle Mark’s side? They walk in the door, and I see a baby who's soooo cute. I ask to hold her. But then I look down and see she has an extra leg. I’m so so sad for this baby--I realize then that her parents don’t take good care of her. If they did, they would’ve removed this extra leg by now. So I hold this baby (although she's more like a 9-month or year-old baby) the whole time these relatives are over, cuz I want to make sure the baby feels loved.

Later … or earlier. I’m at a McDonald’s in the hotel and I order a hamburger happy meal. I feel like the guy kinda judges me for getting a happy meal but he puts the order in anyway. I wait a little bit, then the guy puts a bowl of soup (it’s like, a really good-looking bowl of soup. Not something McDonalds would do. It’s like a cheesy, thick something that looked really good, in a clay bowl) and a salad on the tray. I say, umm that looks good but I ordered a happy meal. The guy says, I’m sorry … but he doesn’t correct it right away. He says, we have to wait on these people in line now. If you go to the end of the line you can place your order again. I’m like THAT’S CRAP--it’s your fault you messed it up, why should I have to go to the end of the line? Then I see Melody, in line for McDonald’s? Or maybe in line for another restaurant? Or maybe just in the food court area at the hotel? I think YAY I haven’t seen Mel for awhile, and now I have a great outrageous story to tell her. I say, “Mel, I just experienced an INJUSTICE. You need to hear my story!” She was on her way to some important conference or meeting or something, but she wanted to hear this story. So we walked to another section of the hotel, toward her meeting, and as we walked I told her the McDonald’s story. And she had her great Melody reaction: "That IS an injustice. They can’t get away with that!!"

Then she has to go, I say bye, I look at this other room where people are meeting. (It was more like a retreat center than a hotel now. It’s cozy and cute with old couches, like in a cabin.) I notice that it’s Giles, Deb, Karin, and like eight Spanish kids. I immediately hug Giles, Deb, and Karin, and I then I remember they were going to be there for only a day. “I’m like oh right, I’m sad you’re only here for a day, but I’m glad I got to see you.” And then I meet some of the Spanish kids.

From the Vault

2007-05-15T18:39:00.000-07:00

Recently, when sifting through some old yahoo and CTI e-mails, I discovered some old dreams—perfectly preserved in IM form. I edited the first one, but left the others exactly how I found them.

This one's recentish:
I dreamed my Uncle Rich was in Fleetwood Mac—I think he played bass or something. I came to watch a show (in some kind of cute all-brick venue), and there was a q&a session in between sets. I wanted to appear smart, of course, and was trying to prepare myself for the trivia. Uncle Rich made a joke about some other relatives—my other aunt and uncle: "They must be speaking Bruce and Peggy language." The lead singer in Fleetwood Mac (sadly, not Stevie Nicks, just some dude) was all, "Ah!Haha!Ha!" and I was all, "Yeah, hahaha!" Apparently the band got it because they were tight with my relatives, but no one else in the audience got it. I of course got it because I'm in the family, so I felt cool that I knew Fleetwood Mac's inside joke.

Later, same dream, I was escaping from a tornado on a bus my brother was driving. (Pretty classic running-from-tornado dream scenario.)

This one is *old,* like circa 2002, I think.
JillKMeier: i was kidnapped by aliens
BeltlessMo: go go
BeltlessMo: abducted
JillKMeier: also, the ferret had baby ferrets
JillKMeier: and i wanted to kill them all
JillKMeier: it was like, i was abducted before, like another time
JillKMeier: and i was at this party with my mom and friends i guess
JillKMeier: and they came back, and somehow they'd catch you
JillKMeier: i don't know exactly how, but they'd get you to walk in their
spaceship
JillKMeier: and i remember someone saying something from a window, and I walked in, thinking it was someone who wanted to talk in another room
JillKMeier: and then i walk in and, CRAP. I did it again, i'm in the
spaceship
BeltlessMo: haha
JillKMeier: and i look over and there are three girls with duct tape over their mouths, tied up
JillKMeier: and i'm like crap i'm so MAD at myself
JillKMeier: but the aliens were like, kinda nice
JillKMeier: they're like, go and say your goodbyes and have fun for one last night
JillKMeier: and then we'll capture you
JillKMeier: and I was like ok. cuz somehow there was no way i could get out of it
JillKMeier: and I remember driving with my mom, going I"m SO stupid
JillKMeier: and she's like it's ok, it'll be over soon
BeltlessMo: haha
JillKMeier: and in another part of my dream there were little baby ferrets in this paper bag, and val and krista were looking at them in val's room
JillKMeier: and i'm like EW get rid of those
JillKMeier: and there were so many, and they were so little, almost like little bugs
JillKMeier: and then phil devol, my church's children's pastor, was there
JillKMeier: and even val was like we need to get rid of these cuz there's so many, but i don't want to hurt them
JillKMeier: and so phil is like, hey wait a minute. have we considered all the options
JillKMeier: we can chemically poison them, and then we won't have to shed blood
BeltlessMo: haha
BeltlessMo: that's riDIC
JillKMeier: i KNOW
BeltlessMo: you are so entertaining

This one's probably from around the same time, 2002, 2003? Note: this was *before* half of CTI was torn down and replaced by an Aldi.
JillKMeier: the night we gained an hour of sleep, i got like nine hours, so i kept waking up and going back to sleep. so i had this dream ... the whole thing took place in aldi
JillKMeier: all my old college friends kept appearing, so i wanted to stop and talk JillKMeier: so i did. but all the time i was shopping. but i was a little concerned cuz i didn't have a bag with me. and no cart
JillKMeier: cuz ya know, in aldis you have to pay for those. so i'm walkin around with three limes and a loaf of bread
comperegrino: three limes and a loaf of bread?
JillKMeier: anyway one of my college friends, jason bentsen, was like hey now i'm in the music business, and i promote concerts. did you know aldis has a coffee house now?
JillKMeier: i'm like wow, weird. so i went to check it out
JillKMeier: and it's rebecca st. james's brother and his band. at the aldi coffeehouse. and i'm like hm. weird. but a step up for aldi
JillKMeier: so all this time i'm still shopping. i go back and try to get more stuff
JillKMeier: and am talking to my college friends, who keep popping up
JillKMeier: then i go back to the coffeehouse, and who's playing this time?
JillKMeier: Led Zeppelin
comperegrino: in Aldi.
JillKMeier: they were all wearing red outfits. i'm like this is weird they're playing at aldi too. then i think i left

Another.
JillKMeier: i dreamed two of my youth group girls wanted to kill me
BeltlessMo: whoa
JillKMeier: cuz they were worshipping the devil and it told them it was wrong
JillKMeier: so they had knives. it was those two girls and some other random high schooler. in this classroom at school
JillKMeier: and i was all scared, but Clay came in and punched the guy and called the cops to take away the girls
JillKMeier: and i was crying and he hugged me
BeltlessMo: whoa
JillKMeier: he's like wow. i'm yur subconscious hero
JillKMeier: i'm like yeah, thanks man

The Freddy Garcia Dream

2007-05-02T13:43:00.000-07:00

So I guess I'm running away from Freddy Garcia, who's chasing me in my home church. I'm trying to get out, but Freddy plastic wraps the church door so I'm stuck inside. And then, I was wrapped in plastic, and my legs were bound. I wrestle free, and somehow break through the plastic/door to get out. I run to Kari's, who lives across the block, for help. I expect to find Kari or Patsy, her mom, there, but instead, Penny Kellogg's there. (Penny Kellogg=random Newark woman.) I say, "This will sound weird, but if a big pitcher comes looking for me, don't tell him where I'm at."

Then I tried to reconcile with Freddy later.

Baseball wishes but no playoff dreams

2006-09-06T14:44:00.000-07:00

I'm in Chinatown with Leigh. I was trying to remember my way around, and I was supposed to meet the Gat up at north beach to play VB with him and his friends. I'm walking through the streets and sidewalks, and I remember being in a ginormous bookstore at one point, and one bookshelf was the height and length of the wall--and the wall was huge. I guess I found my way to an apt. in Chinatown--although I'm not sure if it was the Gat's or someone else's? I sit down to watch TV, and the Asian version of Good Times is on. (Basically, the same show with the same characters, but they were Asian instead of black.) As the show ended and the credits rolled, I see Tadahito Iguchi's name. I was like, huh. I guess he had an acting career before he was a ballplayer. He really is a star but doesn't act like one (#29).

I'm at the Naperville train station, which, in my dream, is in between parking lots of the Home Depot and Farm and Fleet, in Fox Valley. (No, there's no Farm and Fleet in Fox Valley in real life.) I walk in, and see, like, EVERYONE I know. I'm like oh hey ... Newark people! Wheaton people! Youth group people! City people! Hey guys! I know you all! At one point I walk around a corner and see Jason Thorwall, and he's surrounded by a bunch of family and friends. I would stop and talk, but he's too swarmed, so I kinda wave and pass by. As I pass, he says, "Hey I'll see you tonight." I say, "You will? Where?" He says, "At the wedding." (Referring to his and Jen's nuptials.) I say, "Um no, we already did that last weekend. Remember? We had the rehearsal dinner Saturday night, and then you got married on Sunday." He says, "Ohhh ... no, actually, the entire weekend was a rehearsal. The real thing is this weekend." I'm not sure if I said anything else, but I remember being confused, and also pretty T.O.ed cuz I already had plans that weekend and I wasn't anticipating a two-weekend wedding. Also, at one point I was going up the stairs, and I see Ozzie Guillen talking to Tom Ness like they're BFF--and, of course, they're talking baseball stats. (Note: this is way funnier if you know who Tom Ness is, but not really anyone who reads this does. A short introduction: He's a dude I went to school with from kindergarten through HS, and the only way I can think to describe him here is ... an intense, nervous, kinda-clueless jock, except smart in the jock-way to the point of ridiculousness, in that he knew stats from our HS basketball teams dating back to the 50s. Also, he really, really cared about the weather.)

I'm at Wrigley Field with my family, in the way-high upper deck that doesn't really exist. After eating whatever ballpark food, we all got sick, and decided all the food from Wrigley was poisoned. After that, we leave, and we have to exit through the underground tunnel/mall, which everyone has to use when they leave Wrigley. Apparently. Then we go all futuristic, and Dad is driving us around the city ... in the air. It's night now, and the skyline is beautiful, and it's even more pretty because we're seeing it from up high as we drive through it. But when we park/land in a parking garage, it gets really tricky trying to avoid all those pesky road-travelers and parkers. Dad has to drive around and maneuver in and out of spots for a long, long time before we're in.

Todd, as in "putting the odd in," and my college/RA friend Shawna are on a treasure hunt. (Not to be confused with a scavengar hunt.) They show up at this hair salon on Roosevelt Rd., where I happen to be, and they come in with a pizza box. There are clues on this pizza box, and they ask for help in solving the puzzle on the pizza box. I don't remember much after that, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't much help.

The White Sox have invited me to travel with them. We're in Arizona--not sure if it was spring training or if we were just "passing through." We make a stop at Brian Anderson's parents' house, where he grew up. His mom's making the team dinner in the kitchen, and everyone's just hanging out and chillin around the house. I'm in the dining room looking at old newspapers and pictures of BA. Amid the pics and clippings of BA and his fam, I see a paper from Chicago, and it's laid open. As I look closer, I discover that it's actually the Kendall County Record, which is the little weekly paper from my home. It's open to a page of softball and baseball team photos, and I see one of my dad's team. I'm like, Hey!! It's my dad's team!! But no one was around at that point, so I was sad I couldn't show anyone.

I keep flipping through the paper, looking at whatever other news was there, then some of the players come back to the dining room. BA comes over, and I say hey, my dad's in here! He's like, cool, lemme see! I'm like okay! And I start flipping back to find it. But ... I can't. Find it. Anywhere. I'm like no seriously, it's here. He's all nice and tries to help, and says, maybe a little further back? Toward the front? Middle? Sports section (duh)? I feel like an idiot, and I kinda keep going to one section because i remember it being there. But then I remember it was in a special "baseball through the years" section, which showed some old teams. I finally find it and it's all good.

*Remind me to post the Freddy Garcia dream sometime soon-ish. And by remind me, I mean Kibibi, since you're bored at work and may still have enough faith in me to check this.

Earning my URL

2006-07-28T13:17:00.000-07:00

I'm hanging out with young adult peeps from church, like at a classy fair, kind of? It had the feeling of a ballpark concourse, but I don't remember being at a game. I might've had to decide between the church friends and friends from HS, cuz I remember my HS friends Scott, Nina, and Wiese being there. Charles (church friend) tells me to get him a cinnamon roll from the cooler (aka, walk-in fridge). Evidently, we're standing right by the cooler door. I walk in, and it's like a beautiful bakery or kitchen, only cold. It's all stone, with a hearth and a gorgeous granite island and granite countertops. The only light that's on is shining down on the island. As I look around I see glass cases (kinda like a grocer's freezer? even though the food wasn't frozen?). In the cases are cakes, sweet breads, and the cinnamon rolls I'm supposed to get for Charles. At one point, I walk by an oven, and there's freshly baked cookies inside. I start slicing thin pieces off various cakes and breads from the cases, and of course have to take a cookie. Suddenly I realize I've been in there awhile, and I wonder if others wonder where I am. I figure nah, they won't notice I'm gone. Except maybe Charles ... who wants his roll. I overhear him talking about how I've taken way too long and he's kind of mad. I think, huh, I didn't think Charles could get mad.

I'm in the city, walking from Ogilvie train station with Riane and Lissa. Lissa's looking for a steak sandwich place, and takes off in one direction, but I'm all no, it's this way—I know cuz I was just here. I think I end up following Lissa anyway, and we end up in a department store close to the station. I see Melissa, Jed, and Eva Davis and Sig Ostby in the store (friends from HS, their daughter, and Melissa's mom). I hug them all, because it's totally unexpected that I run into them in the city, and I haven't seen them in awhile. We catch up a little, then Sig says, these guys need to be in a wedding! (Pointing to Melissa and Jed.) I'm like um ok. Whose wedding? She's all, yours! With a hearty laugh I say, good luck with that! (Note: This felt like a kinder, weirder version of "why aren't you married yet.")

I'm in an apartment—I guess it's mine. (It's not my apt. in real life.) I have CDs stacked high on this table, along with my CD player. People are coming over so I feel the need to organize them, then I change my mind, reasoning that at least they're all stacked on a pile. I remember wanting Russ and Clay (work friends) to see my wide selection of quality CDs. Then suddenly/randomly, I'm pretty much in the movie Scream. Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, and David Arquette are there, discussing whether or not this was Scream 4. I think I said, no, they're not making another one, to calm my fears, but they kept getting threatening/scary notes from the new killer ... so I guess I was wrong.

Then I'm at home with my family. I need to go to the bathroom, but I'm scared of being alone where the killer can get me. I ask Amy (my little sister) to go with me. We go upstairs to my old room, where apparently there's a bathroom now. (Although it wasn't so much a bathroom as it was a toilet in my bedroom, like a new piece of furniture.) Before I use it, I check behind the toilet, using an old newspaper to sweep behind it (hoping to strike first by giving the killer a papercut). Nothing. I then try behind the desk, which is by the toilet. Again, nada. One more time—behind the dresser, which is to the left of the desk. This time, I see ... someone!!! My sister and I "scream" and frantically run down the stairs, looking back to see who it is as he stands up from behind the dresser. He has a gun, and it's pointed at us. And ... it's Vince Gill. As we run downstairs, we shout, "Vince Gill with a gun! Vince Gill with a gun!" to warn everyone.

I'm in a stadium—it might be Willow—to hear my Judson psych prof, Professor Currie speak. I see a lot of other people there I know: Jen and Leigh (should need no introduction), Holly and Dan (youth leader/small group friends), and Stef and Jon (friends from college). After his speech/sermon, Prof Currie asks me to babysit his kids. I'm all, sure. Leigh's like, I want your job! I say, it's not that bigga deal. Then later on, Michael Jordan is the speaker, and asks me to babysit his kids. I'm not sure how Leigh knew this was coming ... it's like she was expecting to be jealous of my job, but got them mixed up. MJ talks about how he regrets all those years in the NBA, cuz even though he was the most amazing player ever, he didn't feel like he was a good dad during those years, and he's paying for it now. Also, after Currie's speech, Jon, Stef, and I sing one of his memory songs he taught us in class at Judson, with motions: "short-term memory has seven spaces, plus or minus two! short-term memory has seven spaces, plus or minus two! ... "

Then I'm driving Hope and Emma (youth group girls) in a van, somewhere in the mountains, or a really hilly area. They're scared we'll drive off a hill, cuz they're REALLY high and curvy, with no shoulder or gate, and it's foggy.

Real Life Alert: Let the Players Play

2006-07-06T09:07:00.000-07:00

Sporting News:

—Mad props to my little sister, the little scholastic athlete. I didn't even have to punch her. Also, why did I not stick with softball? Oh yeah, cuz I wanted to be all dramatic and do the spring musical my junior and senior years of HS. And cuz my coach hated me.

—It's way fun going to a Sox game with Kelly Dexter, Paul "Spontaneous" Schmitt, and my usual go-to Sox girl Leigh. Also fun to sit Paul and Leigh next to each other for the sole purpose of the Konerko chant with slightly altered spelling: "PAUL-LEIGH! PAUL-LEIGH!" And free tix + Comiskey cash + my dad is cool = my dad is really, really cool.

—On the fourth, post-Wheaton parade and post-sunburn, pre-BBQ and pre-more-sunburn, I crashed on the couch and watched about four minutes of World Cup action—featuring the Germans vs. the Italians. A few thoughts in my semi-conscious state: a) it's the drinkers vs. the eaters (from a way-back conversation with KB and Mel, discussing my heritage) b) who do I root for? since I'm a quarter Italian and three-quarters German, is rooting for Italy like rooting for the underdog? c) is this like me battling myself? and whatever the outcome, I'm a winner and a loser at the same time? Kind of like being "employee of the month"? and d) I'm pretty sure this is the only four minutes I will ever care about soccer. This was obviously too much thinking, because a nap promptly ensued.

—In other soccer news, Jason Thorwall is currently debating whether or not his fiancee's recent coming out of the soccer (and lacrosse?!) fandom closet is a deal-breaker. He has until August 6th to decide.

Sometimes

2006-06-19T14:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you dream that you're the babysitter/nanny/bodyguard (?) for Julia Roberts's twins. You get to travel with them; talk to Julia like you're BFF; and sit in the back seat of their station wagon as it coasts past the paparazzi, through the large iron gates, and into their large estate, which features a castle-like mansion.

Sometimes you dream that you, your mom and dad, your brother and sister-in-law, your sister, and your nephew are hanging out in an apt. loft in the city. And your nephew is sleeping on the bed by the wall, but he keeps rolling off the bed and falling in the crack between the bed and the wall—so you have to keep catching him. Like, every five minutes over the course of the night. Sometimes the city turns into the country, and it's covered with snow, and you can see outside from the large windows along the length of the loft. And sometimes there are thieves who broke in and stole things, and other thieves trying to get back in, so your dad and brother suddenly have rifles they're pointing out the windows.

Sometimes you dream you're in the house you grew up in with your mom and dad. And sometimes Kevin Bacon's double (either a guy in a simple Kevin Bacon disguise, like Tom Cruise's Philip Seymour Hoffman disguise in MI:III; or a literal body-double, a la Alias's evil Francie) is trying to break in. And you keeping asking your mom and dad if every window and door is locked and/or double-locked, and if they're SURE they're ALL really REALLY locked—cuz you keep seeing Kevin Bacon walking around outside (you know it's his double, and either way, it's SO scary) and you don't think your parents quite understand the severity of the situation because you've watched Alias and MI movies, and they haven't.

And sometimes you dream that you go to a Sox/Twins game with Leigh and Brooke, but instead of the game being at the Cell, you road trip to the Metrodome. When you first get there, you're sitting in the upper deck (along the left field line) thinking, wow it's strange that we're in a dome. Then, you're sitting close to the dugout, and a girl who plays (it's a softball game now, evidently) comes out of the dugout and asks if you'd do her a favor and get her a Kleenex, cuz her nose is running. You dutifully obey by running to the bathroom, but there are old people in the bathroom and for some reason that means you have to wait. After waiting, you get a whole bunch of TP and run back to give it to the girl—hoping it will suffice. She is most grateful; you've saved the day. Then it turns back into a Sox/Twins game, but it's at a HS ballfield now, NOT in a dome—although the sun is setting and the lights are on. And you and Leigh are standing behind the Sox bench, which isn't in a dugout at all. Then you and Leigh go talk to Paul Konerko, and Leigh gives him a Christmas stocking. And while he was most grateful, he starts talking about how he's not sure about Christmas and/or Christianity, and Leigh tells him, no, seriously—it's a good thing.

Sometimes you sit way closer to players in real life than in your dreams. Sometimes you can't believe you ever thought you had good Sox seats before May 4.

Real Photo Alert: White Sox Groupies

2006-04-27T14:00:00.000-07:00

Freddy Garcia warming up the crowd. And by the crowd, I mean his arm.

A.J. Pierzynski poses for my camera, showing off his game face and his Reinsdorf-mandated new 'do. Note the business in back, party in front.

So ... A.J. and I are pretty much BFF now.

The bullpen. I'm pretty sure Brandon McCarthy is out in front (to us), Boone Logan is to the right, and Politte, Neal Hotts, and Big Bobby are sitting in back of McCarthy.

If you've never been to a Sox game with Leigh Kramer, I highly recommend it. Here's to the most amazing. White Sox fan. ever.

Real Nephew Photo Alert #2

2006-04-27T10:22:00.000-07:00

My nephew being cute (note: he threw the sippy cup across the table and giggled about 30 seconds after I took this picture--he has a great arm):

Andrew, still cute, and also, smart (see logo on overalls):

My best friend Kari's (BFK) little girl, Kjersten Paige, 2 years:

Me and my youth leader friends in disguise before our annual leader hunt:

Leader hunt = When HS kids comb Woodfield Mall and race to be the first team to find you, and strangers stare at you and call you freaks. Also, I've decided my thug "disguise" is my actual self--and every other day, I'm masquerading as a harmless, normal person. What.

In honor of Mel

2006-03-31T14:56:00.000-08:00

Melody, aka, Smelody, aka, Smelodious, aka, my office-mate for a year-and-a-half, aka, my partner in snarkiness, aka, Statler to my Waldorf, aka, discoverer of Demetri Martin.

I must obligatorily add that, in searching for a pic of Statler and Waldorf, I discovered they have a myspace. I really am the only person in the world who doesn't have one.

So. Mel's favorite dream of mine:

I'm at home--the house I grew up in--and Mel and I are roommates. We're sleeping in my living room, but it's a bedroom--and Mel and I have separate day beds about five feet apart, and we're sleeping with our heads on opposite ends. The alarm goes off, and we both wake up and look at each other, neither wanting to get up yet. I decide to get up and use the bathroom first (there's only one in the house) so Mel can sleep a little more. I hurry, so Mel can get in, but only as quickly as I operate first thing in the morning (which is pretty much the opposite of "hurry"). I get out of the bathroom, and come back to our room ... but Mel's not there. Hm, where'd she go? I think. Since our bedroom is actually my living room at home, the kitchen is an adjacent room ... so I assume she's eating breakfast, and go in to let her know the bano is free-o.

There's no good place to start a new paragraph. So I just did. Back to the action. I walk in the kitchen, and look toward the end of the room, where the kitchen table is. There sat Marty, who, in real life, is my (and was Mel's) supervisor ... but in my dream she was kinda like our mom? But they aren't eating breakfast. Instead, Marty is combing Melody's hair and Mel is smoking a cigarette. They look so happy and peaceful.

Mel, we heart you. We miss you. We salute you. But, most of all--Melody Pugh, we like what you dugh.

Your mom goes to my dream

2006-02-15T15:17:00.000-08:00

... and so does everyone else.

For the sake of clarity, we'll number these:

Dream #1: I'm standing in the parking lot of my high school. It's the actual Newark HS parking lot, not an "it is but it isn't" thing. Lauren (one of my youth group girls) and her family live in the blue ranch house that borders the parking lot, where I remember Theresa Aubele (a classmate) living in junior high. Lauren's mom, Jody, keeps writing me encouraging notes and walking over to the parking lot to hand them to me. They were all super nice and encouraging, mostly thanking me for being Lauren's leader.

Dream #2: I'm at a Chinese restaurant in some suburban strip mall, and I'd just finished eating and paying, so I walk out. I think I was with a general friend at that point, but she left. In the restaurant, I saw Riane's mom, Nancy, and my college-freshman-year roommate, Amy Estes, eating. After I exit the restaurant and start walking along the sidewalk of the mall, I see them walking from the other direction, so our paths cross. I decide they won't recognize me even though I recognize them (since I hadn't talked to them for years, evidently), and even if they do, I don't want to talk to them. We actually make eye contact, and I say "hi"--but I said it in a way that indicated that I had never met them before and I was just being friendly, and keep walking. They didn't really say anything, but exchanged really annoyed/offended glances. I figure our encounter is over and I'm off the hook.

However, after we pass, they quietly turn around and start following me. I can tell that they're following me, so I start power-walking to someplace safe. Evidently, someplace safe was the women's public restroom, which happened to be nearby. I enter, hoping/thinking I'd lost them ... but alas, they follow me in since they're sharp enough to know that you can't really hide in the women's bathroom, and also, if you're a woman (which they both are), it's really not a problem to go in. They don't say anything in there, but leave, and after a few minutes, I leave too, hoping they gave up. But no--they're waiting outside, and I had some 'splainin to do. They're all "we know you recognize us but yet you just walk past and pretend you don't know us, and then you go hide--what's up with THAT." I'm all, "OH ... there you are ... I thought you were someone else ... you look different ... "

Same night of dreams, different plot: Aaron Rowand and I are in Wal-Mart, and he's searching and searching for the movie, The Prince of Egypt, cuz evidently he loves it. (We're searching in the toy aisle though, not in the electronics section where the DVDs are.) He asks me for help, because he can't actually remember the name of the movie, but I'm at a loss, too. I'm all, "uh I don't remember ... wait, I think the name of it is 'Moses.'" I feel like a freaking idiot cuz I can't help my boy Aaron Rowand with this one simple task, and I knew I knew the name of the movie, but I just couldn't think of it right then.

Later, I'm in a random locker room--not sure if it was supposed to be the Sox locker room or not--but it looked like a typical HS or college locker room. There's no one there except Aaron, my best friend from home, Kari, and me. He/we must've found the movie, except now he just has the soundtrack. He starts to play it, tells us how much this music means to him and how it touches him so deeply, and asks if we'd join him in meditating on the song by holding hands and closing our eyes. So, on the benches between the lockers, I sit between Aaron and Kari, hold both of their hands, and we bow our heads and close our eyes as the music plays.

Still same night of dreams, yet another different plot: I'm walking along Townhouse Road, which is a country road that leads out of town (town being, Newark, IL, where I grew up). I notice it gradually starts to flood, and I'm walking into it, so I'm trying to decide if I should keep walking--if I should go through it, around, etc. (was I goin' on a lion hunt?). Somewhere along the line, the road kind of disappears and turns into a field of really green grass, and the sun is shining really brightly. This whole time, I'm on the phone with the Gat, and he's trying to help me out and tell me what to do, although he's really not that much help cuz he can't see the flooded road/grass/field.

Somewhere along the line, I hear that George Roach has died. I'm not sure if the Gat told me on the phone, or if I was actually talking to George at some point on the phone? (And he informed me from beyond?) I remember being sad, and I went to Jen and Leigh and Donna's because they would know about wake and funeral arrangements and stuff. Note: in my dream, J/L/D's apt. was, in actuality, Kibibi's apt. I arrive and see they have the TV on ... and George's funeral was on TV, like he was a dignitary or something. I thought this was weird, but I sat down and watched it with them.

Dream #3: I'm looking for Christie Thompson (friend from HS) at my church from home ... I search out the stairwells, the sanctuary, the kitchen, the basement ... we finally find each other, and I guess we have to sit through a service or meeting of some type in the basement. We get there late and find a chair (the church-basement-kind of chair), and I look around to see who's there. I see Carlye Begnaud, who is taking some time off from her missions stint in Tijuana, in the next section of chair rows over. She has dyed her hair really dark red, and she's wearing lots of really dark face and eye makeup. I'm confused by her appearance, and make a note to ask her what the deal is with her new look after the service.

**Ummm. So this is what happens when you remember your dreams all the time but only find time to blog once a month. Sorry. I have like five more to go. Feel free to get up and run around the block and come back. Or just run around the block. Whatever.**

Dream #4: I'm in a Lowe's Home Improvement store, except ... it's also a fitness center ... and there's a mini-bar upstairs ... and also, it's not all-the-way built yet. My brother Todd is there, helping to build it, and he's all moving 2x4's and hammering and laying down tarp. Kat is also there, just coming from her workout, so we chat a little bit. I decide to stay and help out Todd, and then I see Wiese, who is also there for some reason. (Wiese=friend from HS whose real name was Jen Wiesbrook, now it's Jen Hamer). She's sporting a really high side ponytail, which I thought was weird cuz it's so 1987, but then I thought, it's Wiese, and she wouldn't do anything less-than-cool--so the side pony must be back. (Note: this had the exact same feel of a previous dream where Cory Whitehead had a mullet, but I figured they were back in, since it was Cory.) Wiese and I talk for awhile, updating each other on life, and then I guess I needed to leave. As I walked out the automatic/foot-sensor glass doors, the really great, soothing music from the current Lowe's TV ad campaign played, and I woke up with that tune in my mind.

Dream #5: I'm driving home, and I come to a rest stop, which is on the corner of Rte. 47 and 71, where the Shell is in real life. The rest stop is run by the Vejvodas; it's actually where they live. It's a ranch with the living room and kitchen in the center of the house and the bedrooms down the hallways. I walk in, and Mrs. Vejvoda shows me where I'll be sleeping (they take "rest stop" literally). Emma and Molly show me their rooms, which they share. It contains two single beds, some decorative stuff on the walls, and a curtained window.

Dream #6: I get on the Metra, which I'm taking into the city. I think I was with some friends. The Metra--at least this corner of it--is decorated like a living room (almost an RV feel). It has a TV in the top corner, rugs and curtains, and a couple barcaloungers. I see that the Gat's friend, Dave, is sitting in a barcalounger, and I go over and talk to him. While I'm trying to chat, Val keeps calling my cell phone and checking on directions to Wrigley Field--evidently, I'm meeting her there. I keep telling her, but she keeps calling back cuz she didn't get em or something.

Dream #7: I'm at Judson, and I'm late for class. I decide to ride the shuttle bus to class and I see Pastor Ron walking to class. Also, Pastor Ron was my history prof. I figured, since he's late, I'm fine--I'll beat him there anyway.

Dream #8: I'm at home, in the house in which I grew up. Amy, my little sister, and some of her friends are trying to light the drapes on fire upstairs in my old bedroom. They aren't having much success because the drapes are really heavy and polyester, and not super flammable. My mom and dad aren't there, so I'm in charge, and I thought something shady was going on upstairs. I decided to wait it out and see if she really lights them on fire, but I have my best friend and neighbor, Kari, wait outside her house (across the yard) so I can signal to her and she can get her dad if things get out of control. Sure enough, the drapes go up in flames, so I stick my head out the door, signal to Kari (evidently getting help had to be a secret), and she gets Jeff (her dad). Jeff, being the good volunteer fireman he is, calls the fire dept., and they rush over. Also, the fire dept. is like less than block away. They save the day, and Amy gets busted.

MLK, this one's for you

2006-01-16T14:49:00.000-08:00

I have a dream, too. Actually, I almost never don't have a dream.

For instance, I once dreamed that Henry Winkler was my boss, and he was retiring. In proper CTI tradition, we held a farewell party for him, and we routed a card so everyone could pen their sentiments. In this particular instance, however, we were creative and signed a magazine page he'd worked on, because evidently it was more special this way. I was the last one in my department to sign the card/magazine page, and I was glancing over the notes that my co-workers had written. (I'm pretty sure there were only three signatures at this point, belonging to Marty, Melody, and Wes, my fellow newsletter team editors at the time.) After seeing what they'd written, I was outraged because their notes were so short and perfunctory. What a travesty, I thought, for someone who'd given so many years and so much hard work to his company and television career to be robbed of the deep, meaningful appreciation letter he deserved. I determined to make up for these short notes with my own. It read as follows:

"Dear Mr. Winkler,
For so many years I'd only heard about you or seen you on TV, and I can honestly say it's been an incredible honor to actually work for you. I want you to know that I've admired and appreciated you for your work as the Fonz on Happy Days; in your ensuing career as a director; and as a writer, editor, and manager at CTI. You've also become a great friend and mentor to me. Thanks for all you've contributed, and enjoy your years of retirement!"

Here's to the dreamers. Especially the one who dared to dream that "the jangling discords of our nation (would be transfomed) into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood." Let freedom ring. Yes, in our nation--but also, all the heck over.

Real Nephew Photo Alert: The best nephew is when you're an aunt

2005-12-16T14:07:00.000-08:00

(The cutest Andrew Jacob Meier ever, 14 months, October 2005.)

Missing kids (as in, loving and missing them, not "victims of kidnapping"), Bono, and Dave the mechanic

2005-11-28T14:43:00.000-08:00

Random snippets of recentish dreams:

*Riane is my dentist. Or at least, she plays one in my dream. I'm in a little room with a window, sitting in the dentist chair. She keeps numbing my cheeks and gums, because I'm getting my wisdom teeth out. The novocaine is taking forever to kick in, but I'm not sure if that's because Riane doesn't know what she's doing or cuz I'm on laughing gas and everything is in slow motion. I look out the window, and realize that I'm on a boat because I see a deck out the window and the lake/ocean/pond/river beyond the deck. Riane's mom walks by, on the deck, and I see Giles and Deb and *Evan in a little blow-up raft in the water. I decide to get out of the chair, cuz as much as I love Riane, I just don't trust any dentist on a boat.

I'm on a long journey. I decide to walk back from this long journey. Evidently, the end point of this long walking journey is Naperville, and I need a place to spend the night because I can't get back to Wheaton in time for bed. (Weird how that mattered in my dream.) I walk past *Lissa's house, and realize, hey her family is nice and I know her; I should stay here. (Note: in my dream, it was Lissa's house. But, the house in the dream was very clearly *Dan Jacobsen's house, cut and paste from real life.) I decide to see if I can stay there, but I think for some reason it was morning at this point. I knock and ring the doorbell, but no one answers. The door is open, so I decide to walk in. I go downstairs, figuring I can sleep in Lissa's bedroom, but oops, it's her parents room, and I see them sleeping. *Awkward.* I quietly exit and go back upstairs, and see Lissa in the back yard.

I'm at Dave Chelsen's, aka, Newark's only auto mechanic, which is out in the country (not to be confused with out "of" the country). I'm picking up my car, and I realize I have to pay—but he's not there. So I go inside the shop to leave him a check, and I see pictures on the wall. Tons and tons of pictures, mostly of kids whose parents are loyal customers. I realize there are some baby pictures of me—and all the pictures have captions that tell the name and age. It's not scary a la One Hour Photo; it's endearing like when doctors' and dentists' offices post pictures of their clients on a bulletin board.

Then I arrive at Cozymel's, because I'm supposed to be meeting Karin Harper there, but she's late. Also, Cozymel's is somewhere between El Famous Burrito and itself in my dream—a different interior with blue stucco walls and florescent lights. I decide to get a table and wait by myself, and I'm a little scared because it's late, no one else is eating (I only see wait staff), and flourescent lights on bright blue is scary. Then, I see *Ashley and *Tori, and it was the most. surprising. thing. ever. I'm all, NO WAY ... what are the ODDS that you'd be here?!? They basically rescued me, but I think I just played it cool (after my immediate surprise). They were like, hey sit with us. So I did. And we ate chips and salsa and were so happy.

U2 is in concert. I am there. (And also, WOOOO.) They're playing a gym somewhere, and I'm in the bleachers with the other attenders. People who arrive late are locked out and can't get in, so they knock on the door. Every time there's a knock at the door, Bono makes the trek from the stage to the door to let the tardy person in, mid-song, and the narrow part of the stage he walks around (the exterior of the "bomb shelter") leads directly to the door. Eventually, though, the gym becomes a two-story house and he has to go upstairs to answer, through a narrow stairs hallway with framed pictures on the walls and a curtained window at the top of the stairs. I remember that Susan Sevey, a girl I knew from college, was one of the people he let in.

* Riane, Evan, Dan J., Lissa, Tori, and Ashley are all "former" youth group kids of mine—graduating seniors from the spring; currently college freshmen. I don't actually own them, although I like to think that subtle mind control means I'll always be somewhat responsible for how they turn out as adults. They're cute and fun and great.

Wildest Dreams Coming True Alert!!

2005-10-27T15:25:00.000-07:00

This ain't no dream, kids. Winning is fung, and fung is winning. And on the off chance that anyone's even checking this anymore ... I defer to the Gat, unofficial blogger of the 2005 White Sox, for post-season analysis and warm fuzzies. The giddiness ... the excitement ... the lack of sleep ... is this what it's like to be in love? Cuz I think I am.

Coming soon: real dreams featuring White Chocolate, Bono, and dentistry. Stay tuned.

Come on! Feel the Illinoise!

2005-09-26T09:39:00.000-07:00

I'm in an airport with ... friends, I think (I remember Mel, Kibibi, and the Gat, in the beginning). We're waiting at the terminal in chairs, along with a whole crowd of others waiting for flights, or just arriving from them. There's a big movie screen on one wall, and the airport starts showing a training/instruction slide show for the passengers. The slide show consists of eight(ish) different worst-case-scenarios on an airplane, and we're told to discuss how to deal with and/or prevent them after the presentation. There are no words on the screen, only narration from the pilot or flight attendants and an enactment, in Legos, of these scenarios. A few that I remember: a.) evil terrorists, intending to harm, b.) natural disaster, c.) mechanical failure, and d.) stupid people who accidentally bring explosives on board. I know I already mentioned that these were being enacted in Legos, but allow me to describe further: each slide was actually a blown-up picture of a little Lego man--a different one with different clothes, faces, weapons, and poses for each worse-case-scenario.

When we start discussing, I remember Carter, Abby, Susan, Kovac, and Heleh from ER being there, sitting on the floor in scrubs, and I was discussing how to prevent disasters with them. I then remember the Gat, Mel, Kibibi, the Gat's friend Max, and I think some fellow youth leaders like Bjorn and Heather showing up, and we were all in a circle, seriously brainstorming and passionately debating the best ways to deal with these scenarios. I think these brainstorms might have been going to Washington as potential legislation, too? We were all, ok, we can do this to stop the stupid people, but throw in the terrorists, and that method won't work. We can't just solve a.) or b.), but we need to figure out how to integrate the solutions somehow. At one point I remember agreeing with Carter and Abby, and the Gat and Max were like, that's stupid, come over to our side cuz our ideas are better. And I'm all, but duh, I'm the Carter of the Rock, so we need to stick together.

The next scenes get fuzzy (although these might be the previous scenes cuz I remember my dreams in reverse order), but I remember natural disasters happening outside the airport--specifically, a volcano spilling lava onto people's front porches up in the mountains--and I had to run up the mountains to warn families and my youth group girls.

When I woke up, I was thinking of the word "innocuous." I'm not sure if that's cuz someone used it in my dream, or if I heard it in real life--but whenever I heard it, I thought, I think I know what this word means, but I'm not absolutely sure, so I need to look it up on Monday.

An oldER dream

2005-08-18T11:09:00.000-07:00

Ok, first (?) I was on my high school baseball field, and my brother (Todd) was there after his game or something. He wanted to play catch, so he threw the ball at me—and it was really really fast. I didn't have a glove, so he told me to use the one lying on the ground—it was a lefty glove, though, so no help to me. So I went to my car and got my glove from my box of fun in the trunk (which exists in real life). He started throwing insanely fast again, and I didn't think I could catch him. I was bummed that I was too weak and scared to try catching after I went all the way to my car to get the glove. Then later he comes home and he, my mom and dad, and I are in the kitchen discussing his games. I guess he played like three games, but my dad left early cuz he thought there was only one, so he was sad to have missed them. Todd had some great games and was telling us about them, and for some reason he was given gift cards to local restaurants and pubs and a free coffee mug from some company. I'm not sure if it's just cuz he did well or what.

Then I'm in another room, still at home. In real life, it is now our living room, but used to be the "toy" room when we were growing up. So in the dream, it was the toy room again, except there was a computer there. I was showing Mom the new Strong Bad e-mail, and I remember it kept going on and on, and you had to click to get to the next screen. But she was loving it. Then ... Strong Bad decided to challenge the real life people to a game, and I guess he had to become a lamb stuffed animal in order to do this. There were other stuffed animals too (other characters like Homestar and The Cheat?), all taking on my mom and me. It took awhile to fight them off, but we got all of them except the lamb (Strong Bad in the flesh). I remember it was running after us, I picked it up and held it by its neck, and it was trying to wiggle free ... and it was really, really strong (of course). I guess he got tired after awhile cuz he eventually gave up.

So maybe I called for help during this whole episode? I remember going all the way from Newark to Rush Copley hospital in Aurora, cuz I guess I thought they could help me. I walk in the entryway, up the stairs (I see the front desk, the waiting area, and two vending machines), and then it hits me—duh, the hospital can't help me. So I leave before talking to anyone and decide to go to the Ghost Busters instead. All I remember is showing up at the headquarters and seeing a cool red leather couch where Venkman (Bill Murray) was sitting. But that's it.

Then I'm in my brother and sister-in-law's house, although in my dream it was nothing like their house ... and there were books everywhere. So somehow either the house became Tyndale House Publishers, or I went there. Only it wasn't just the company, it was actually where most of the employees lived. I remember, again, seeing books everywhere—on the coffee tables, on the shelves, etc. It scared me because it was so formal, almost like a church, a company, and a home combined. A Christian publishing mansion, if you will. I remember walking around the halls with Sarah Johnson (a family friend from home) and then suddenly it's 3 pm so everyone has to stop what they're doing and sing a hymn. We have hymn books and we're right by the pipe organ. Sarah's brother, Peter, was getting annoyed, so he left, even though we begged him to stay. There were old, white-haired men nearby (authors? maybe Ken Taylor and his friends?), so I was scared he'd get in trouble for leaving. Finally, in the last portion of the dream, my mom and dad took me out to some restaurant and told me they wanted to set me up with the son of one of their friends from home. I was like, I don't like him like that, but thanks anyway.

There's a MOUSE in the HIZZOUSE

2005-07-12T14:43:00.000-07:00

I've decided that I hate dreaming up titles (pardon the pun) (just kidding, I totally meant to be punny), so from now on, the title may or may not have anything to do with the content of the post. Also, yesterday, I thought to myself, (self), I should send out a newsletter so all two of my readers know when the site is updated. I'm not sure where I got that idea. Except that I know every weekday of my life gives me that idea.

Down to bizznezz. The Alias dream. At least the most legendary of the Alias dream genre.

I was at my church from home, only it wasn't really my church—it was a different building, but in my dream, it was Newark Lutheran Church. (This is extremely common in my dreams. It *is* ... but it *isn't.*) I'm wearing my navy bridesmaid dress from Kari's wedding and my hair is up—I'm in "disguise" like Sydney because I'm going on a mission. In the narthex, Giles Davis (does he need an introduction? for anyone not fortunate enough to know him, he's the youth pastor I've worked with for three and a half years, and also, he's pretty much awesome) was coaching me on this undercover operation that was to take place in the church basement. He was all, "Here's where the stuff is (underneath the floor?) and call this cell phone when the bad guys are done and then set off the bomb like this." And I'm like yes, ok, right, I like what you've done here, yes, got it. I go downstairs, and on my way, I pass my dad on the staircase and he's like you look nice but then he left (kinda like Jack Bristow).

So the real thing happens. The deal goes down. The operation commences. (Note: I have no clue what the real thing, deal, or operation actually is.) I'm in this room in the church basement, standing behind a folding table like I'm at a trade fair or something, ready for the bad guys to come in. There's a secret knock at the door, and I'm like shoot I forgot what the knock is, oh well I guess it's them, and let them in. But it's not the bad guys I was expecting—it's Claire Danes and Kate Winslet. I think, hm, are they working for the bad guys? Or are they other bad guys posing as the real bad guys I'm expecting? So I'm all talking about this deal with them, and checking out their eyes to see if they're lying or for real. Somehow, there is a close-up camera shot of their eyes, kinda like in old westerns when they zoom in before a showdown, to add to the drama or who-will-draw-first. So, it went: close-up of Danes, cut to close-up of Winslet. Back to full screen.

So then I decide, ok, I'm ready to do this stuff, but shoot, what am I supposed to do again? What did Giles say? When do I call his cell? Where's the stuff I'm supposed to give to them? How do I set the bomb off? Why didn't I write any of this down? (This would never happen to Sydney.) So by now, Kate and Claire are getting impatient, mad, and ready to blow me away. I started to freak out, crazy style, and franctically searched for the bomb, knowing that if I found it, I wouldn't know how to set it off anyway. Just as I lose all hope and resign myself to the fact that my life, and career as a spy, will most assuredly be cut short by the bullet of one of Leonardo DiCaprio's leading ladies ... Luke Skywalker runs through the swinging door to save the day. He, of course, knows exactly what to do. He finds the bomb, which is underneath the table I'm standing behind, bends down, and claps twice right above it, setting it off. Evidently, this bomb is installed with a Clapper, and two claps activate it. Skywalker grabs my hand, pulls me out of the room, and sprints upstairs, cuz we have 30 seconds to get out of the building. But I'm like wait, we can't run so fast, we have to tell everyone! Cuz evidently people were in services and class and stuff. On every floor I yell, "BOMB! 30 SECONDS! RUUNNNN!!!" I did this seven or eight times. So everyone evacuates and waits on the street for the explosion, but nothing happens, and everyone's mad that I disrupted their afternoon.

Then Kari and I decide to chase the bad guys. We follow them out of town, to a farm. She's like, I'll check the house, you check the barn. So I walk in the barn, and I see a super sweet papasan chair in the corner, that looked so, so comfortable. (And the barn was actually more like a fancy outdoor weddingish tent than a barn.) But at the moment I thought, man, I want to sit in that chair, my sleuth skills kicked in and I realized, duh, it's the torture chair, and it looks so inviting cuz they want to lure you in. So I realize this, turn to run and leave, and they see me. They're like, get in the chair. I'm like crap. I. am. so. dead. They force me into the chair, where I knew I'd be tortured.

At this point in my sleep cycle, I am struggling with wakefulness—I briefly awake, decide nooooo I can't get up yet, doze back off, and am back to my dream, in the torture chair. Then I realize NOOO I'm gonna be tortured, I have to wake up!! I make myself wake up again, don't want to get up (again), and go back to sleep and face the torture. This process repeats itself like four times until I get up.

A classic from March 2003

2005-07-06T08:16:00.000-07:00

Scene I: I was kind of Monica (from Friends) and kind of me, and me/Monica and the rest of the friends were hanging out at this diner out in the middle of nowhere. It was like a 50s diner, with the silver/metal tables and counters, and teal walls and booths. (Kinda like the Peach Pit from 90210.) I could see inside, cuz there were windows all around it, but I don't remember actually being in it. I guess I was just sitting outside of it, like in the parking lot, with Monica's dad. (Unless it was Monica and her dad and I was not even present--I'm not exactly sure.) I do remember talking to Rachel at one point about a thing with Ross, and then she was giving me advice about my love life. Again, it coulda been Monica, coulda been me ... and not sure what the advice was.

Scene II: I'm on a boat in the middle of a lake, fishing with Monica's dad. (This part was definitely me.) But maybe he turned into my real dad? Not sure. But anyway I remember casting my line and reeling it in, thinking I got a bite. I did this many times, thinking I got something cuz it felt kinda heavy, but each time I got nothin'. That part stunk, but I remember that it was a beautiful, sunny day and the lake looked really blue.

Scene III: I'm in a library. I think it was supposed to be my high school's library, even though it wasn't. (It was a big, nice library, more like a city or college library--and the real one from my high school was like one room-full of books. It makes sense in dream world.) Anyway, all I remember is looking for one specific book, and I looked on many different shelves for it. But not the normal shelves, just the "featured books" shelves, or whatever books were set out on display.

I'm searching the books on a side wall toward the front of the library, intently studying the second to bottom shelf, when I notice a thin bar of red blinking light at the bottom of the shelf. Kinda like ... a minimized instant message. I look down and realize that yes, it was, in fact, an instant message. The instant message was the bottom shelf. The bottom shelf was the instant message. Finkle is Einhorn. The problem: how do I maximize it? Cuz it was clearly important and I needed to read it, but there was no cursor since it was a shelf and not a computer. It keeps blinking at the bottom of the shelf; meanwhile, I'm looking frantically around the tables and shelves to find a device to maximize it. I happen to find a white pole with a point on the end (like a real-life cursor, pretty much), I poke the IM (twice), and it maximizes.

It's a message from the Home Ec teacher who taught at the high school I went to 20 years ago. (Not the high school I attended 20 years ago--she taught 20 years ago at the high school I attended 10ish years ago. There is no good way to write that sentence, sorry. Mrs. Hitchins is her name, and I remember her because my dad taught with her when I was maybe 5 or 6, and I was in this fashion show for her, modeling clothes her students made.) So anyway, the IM: she's mad at me for snooping around the library. I think it said something simple and mean, like: "You don't belong here. Get out." I thought, shoot, I thought she liked me because of the whole fashion show thing, but I guess she only likes young Jill, but not old Jill. I remember my high school English teacher, Mrs. Huntley, being there too, standing behind the front desk and trying to defend me. Thanks Mrs. H.

Live from the archives: Volume 1

2005-06-29T14:43:00.000-07:00

As I attempt to collect and post old dreams, I would be remiss not to begin with the following.

It all began in the summer of 2002. I got my first real six-string. Bought it at the Five and Dime. Played it til my fingers bled. Wait, no, that was a different summer.

Ok, anyway, dream: My friend/co-worker/inspiration to covert deviance, Todd (of previous grocery store line fame), and his wife, Jen, flew to China to adopt a baby. They went, they found a cute baby, their beagle Gracie was jealous cuz Todd and Jen totally forgot about her when the baby arrived. At some point, I think I felt bad for Gracie and gave her some love.

Real life: At this point, Todd and Jen have no offspring. I tell Todd about my dream at lunch, half-jokingly ask him if there's something to tell us, and he says, yes ... you are crazy, and shakes his head in the "you-really-are-mental-but-I'm-secretly-proud-of-you-for-being-so-weird" kind of way, which I get from him every time I share a cah-RAzy dream or something ridiculous I said or did in real life.

(Still) real life: A month and a half later(ish), Toddy makes the announcement: there is, in fact, a bun in the oven. I do the math and figure out she was preggos when I had the dream and shared it—he says, yes, he was slightly freaked out when I told him, but he couldn't say anything because they weren't to the magical three-month/first trimester telling people stage. We all stand in awe of my new gift of prophecy. Kind of.

(Sorry but we're still on) real life: A beautiful baby Lauren is born on January 8, 2003. She is not Asian, nor adopted, but, nonetheless, the cutest thing ever. At the age of two, she is modeling; keenly observing her world ("Mommy that truck is backing up"); and with her great arm, raw talent, grit, and determination (you may have to refresh a few times to see her in the header, riding her bike), well on her way to a softball scholarship (or golf—help her out Uncle Gat).

Back to my subconscious. I have a dream that my friend Kari, of previous river parking lot fame, has two little blond girls and comes to visit me at my apartment. We have fun and play; the dream itself is nothing that spectacular, aside from the fact that Kari and her husband Eric also do not yet have any chillens in real life.

Fast forward to Easter weekend 2003, real life: I hang with Kari, and over dessert and coffee at R-place, I tell her of my dream. I then proceed to tell her that I now have a phenomenal cosmic power, aka, I can predict the future and secret present, and tell her all about my previous dream, how I shared it, they denied it, it was true at the time, yadda yadda. Isn't it WEIRD, I say, how I was right but they weren't telling yet? And also, hey am I right again? And yet a-gain, the hearer of the dream chooses to deny the power of the Oracle. She's all, nope (laugh), sorry (giggle), wrong (joke), (ha), (funny) (still funny) (ha. haha.).

Five days later, real life: I get the call. "Hey what are you doing November 21st?" "Uh, I usually don't plan that far ahead. I guess nothing." "Well maybe keep it free cuz that's when Eric and I are due to HAVE OUR BABY." So evidently, the actual rule is, you-must-wait-until-three-months-to-tell-people-and-there-are-no-exceptions-even-when-your-best-friend-has-a-dream-and-asks-you-directly-five-days-prior-to-the-official-three-month-date-in-person-when-she-can-hug-you-but-oh-well-you-have-to-wait-and-tell-over-the-phone-anyway. Baby Kjersten is born on November 18, 2003, is also the cutest thing ever, and at 19 months, knows way more about combines, silos, John Deere, and dairy farming than most people will in their entire lifetime. And I'm pretty sure she's gonna be a hoops star and her scholarship will be of the basketball sort.

In the words of Katie Holmes, sometimes dreams do come true.

The only reason not to vote for pedro

2005-06-28T09:25:00.000-07:00

Dream told in reverse order, cuz this is how it's coming to me:

I was at the grocery store on Sunday morning (I'm pretty sure it was the Jewel in Danada, but not completely), I guess before church, and suddenly the clerk tells the line of people that it's communion time. He's like, I know you may be surprised, but we need to do it here, and here's how it'll work. And then I think he tells us about it, in case we're not familiar, blesses the bread and wine, and we proceed through the line--he of course gives it to us when we get to the checkout. I remember Todd (Watermann) and Mike (Herman) being in line in front of me ... and there was some kind of sports emphasis on this communion message. I'm pretty sure I was the only girl in line, and I think the rest of the guys were either coaches or athletes--or Todd or Mike. (Ex-coaches/athletes?) The whole time I was kind of upset cuz I just wanted to take communion at church instead of the grocery store, but I thought maybe this was an outreach program the store was doing, so I'm like, that's cool that the clerk wants customers to know Jesus so I'll go along with it.

Evidently I didn't take it right away, cuz I remember holding it in a car, riding shotgun and getting a ride to church from ... some combination of Marv Albert and Chuck Swirsky. Seriously. I remember thinking, he definitely sounds like Marv, but looks like Chuck, and Marv *probably* doesn't go to church. Hm. I also remember looking at the wine, and it was light with a light greenish tint to it, and I thought, huh, that's weird. It's white wine, I guess? Except the green grape color is still there? And I think that's when I woke up.

(Sorry this is like Memento.)

Before that, I was supposed to be in this variety show for West Lisbon Lutheran Church (a church from my hometown), and it was in the cafeteria of my grade school. There were lotsa lotsa people there, sitting in folding chairs, and I was supposed to sing a song from some play, and I think Shawna, Casi, and Sandy Gum (RA friends and my Resident Director from Judson) were part of this performance. When I was waiting for my turn, I realized I didn't know the words to this song, even though I was practicing a lot and singing my heart out in the car on the way there. After freaking out about it, the girls said, you'll be fine, it's not a big deal, you'll remember when you get up there. I got up there, still didn't know the words, excused myself with the whole crowd watching, walked into the hall and played this tape again, trying to remember, but I'm like wait, it's too late now. What should I do instead? Cuz I have to entertain these people. And then I'm like, I got it--a Who's Line Is It Anyway improv skit, since I have so much experience in that. I talked with the girls over which one to do, decided on the ABC game, and evidently I could only pick one person to be in the skit with me. After debating and initially thinking Shawna or Casi would do it, Sandy says, Diana Prange should do it--she's the best at the ABC game. So I'm like all right, Diana, let's go. So we got up there, did the ABC game, and rocked the house with our extensive vocabulary and humor skills.

And also, before all that, when I arrived, it was raining a lot and it started to flood a little, so instead of parking in the deep deep mud, we parked in the river, where all the cars floated in perfect parking-lot alignment. I wasn't sure about it, but I saw my best friend Kari's SUV floating and figured it was ok.

Ok. So before all that, I was ... somewhere ... and I got robbed, three successive times throughout the course of one night/early morning. (At first I thought I was in a house, but then it might have been a bank, and later it became Waubonsee Community College.) Each set of robbers seemed to get nicer--the first ones were scary with guns, and I'm like take all the money from the bank and the 20 from my purse (the biggest bill I had). The second set were still scary, but came when all the money was gone, so I'm like all I have is a five in my purse. I thought they left, but two guys were sitting in this chair still guarding us so we didn't go tell the police, and my two little sisters were there. (Note: I only have one little sister in real life.) I think we had to sleep there, cuz we were on mattresses, and I felt that I needed to protect them, so I like, huddled over them kinda. Later on, we started talking to the robbers and they ended up being kind of nice and funny. The third time, some random girls and guys came and robbed again, but they had no weapons or masks or anything, and this time I got fed up. I'm like, "What the crap--WHO are you robbing and WHY." This one chick is like, "We're not mad at you, we're mad at the Waubonsee College volleyball program, cuz they screw us over every year." I'm like oh, ok, I can understand that, then. And I became pseudo-friends with those robbers after that explanation, and even gave them two dollars from my purse. At some point before that, I think I was in a volleyball tournament or something, and after I couldn't decide which shirt to wear, so I layered them, but I couldn't decide which was the coolest way to layer these shirts--one was a brightly colored zip-up hoodie, and one was a long-sleeve gray shirt.

I think that's all. When I started typing this, I actually thought it'd be one paragraph.