Live from the archives: Volume 1

As I attempt to collect and post old dreams, I would be remiss not to begin with the following.

It all began in the summer of 2002. I got my first real six-string. Bought it at the Five and Dime. Played it til my fingers bled. Wait, no, that was a different summer.

Ok, anyway, dream: My friend/co-worker/inspiration to covert deviance, Todd (of previous grocery store line fame), and his wife, Jen, flew to China to adopt a baby. They went, they found a cute baby, their beagle Gracie was jealous cuz Todd and Jen totally forgot about her when the baby arrived. At some point, I think I felt bad for Gracie and gave her some love.

Real life: At this point, Todd and Jen have no offspring. I tell Todd about my dream at lunch, half-jokingly ask him if there's something to tell us, and he says, yes ... you are crazy, and shakes his head in the "you-really-are-mental-but-I'm-secretly-proud-of-you-for-being-so-weird" kind of way, which I get from him every time I share a cah-RAzy dream or something ridiculous I said or did in real life.

(Still) real life: A month and a half later(ish), Toddy makes the announcement: there is, in fact, a bun in the oven. I do the math and figure out she was preggos when I had the dream and shared it—he says, yes, he was slightly freaked out when I told him, but he couldn't say anything because they weren't to the magical three-month/first trimester telling people stage. We all stand in awe of my new gift of prophecy. Kind of.

(Sorry but we're still on) real life: A beautiful baby Lauren is born on January 8, 2003. She is not Asian, nor adopted, but, nonetheless, the cutest thing ever. At the age of two, she is modeling; keenly observing her world ("Mommy that truck is backing up"); and with her great arm, raw talent, grit, and determination (you may have to refresh a few times to see her in the header, riding her bike), well on her way to a softball scholarship (or golf—help her out Uncle Gat).

Back to my subconscious. I have a dream that my friend Kari, of previous river parking lot fame, has two little blond girls and comes to visit me at my apartment. We have fun and play; the dream itself is nothing that spectacular, aside from the fact that Kari and her husband Eric also do not yet have any chillens in real life.

Fast forward to Easter weekend 2003, real life: I hang with Kari, and over dessert and coffee at R-place, I tell her of my dream. I then proceed to tell her that I now have a phenomenal cosmic power, aka, I can predict the future and secret present, and tell her all about my previous dream, how I shared it, they denied it, it was true at the time, yadda yadda. Isn't it WEIRD, I say, how I was right but they weren't telling yet? And also, hey am I right again? And yet a-gain, the hearer of the dream chooses to deny the power of the Oracle. She's all, nope (laugh), sorry (giggle), wrong (joke), (ha), (funny) (still funny) (ha. haha.).

Five days later, real life: I get the call. "Hey what are you doing November 21st?" "Uh, I usually don't plan that far ahead. I guess nothing." "Well maybe keep it free cuz that's when Eric and I are due to HAVE OUR BABY." So evidently, the actual rule is, you-must-wait-until-three-months-to-tell-people-and-there-are-no-exceptions-even-when-your-best-friend-has-a-dream-and-asks-you-directly-five-days-prior-to-the-official-three-month-date-in-person-when-she-can-hug-you-but-oh-well-you-have-to-wait-and-tell-over-the-phone-anyway. Baby Kjersten is born on November 18, 2003, is also the cutest thing ever, and at 19 months, knows way more about combines, silos, John Deere, and dairy farming than most people will in their entire lifetime. And I'm pretty sure she's gonna be a hoops star and her scholarship will be of the basketball sort.

In the words of Katie Holmes, sometimes dreams do come true.