There's a MOUSE in the HIZZOUSE

I've decided that I hate dreaming up titles (pardon the pun) (just kidding, I totally meant to be punny), so from now on, the title may or may not have anything to do with the content of the post. Also, yesterday, I thought to myself, (self), I should send out a newsletter so all two of my readers know when the site is updated. I'm not sure where I got that idea. Except that I know every weekday of my life gives me that idea.

Down to bizznezz. The Alias dream. At least the most legendary of the Alias dream genre.

I was at my church from home, only it wasn't really my church—it was a different building, but in my dream, it was Newark Lutheran Church. (This is extremely common in my dreams. It *is* ... but it *isn't.*) I'm wearing my navy bridesmaid dress from Kari's wedding and my hair is up—I'm in "disguise" like Sydney because I'm going on a mission. In the narthex, Giles Davis (does he need an introduction? for anyone not fortunate enough to know him, he's the youth pastor I've worked with for three and a half years, and also, he's pretty much awesome) was coaching me on this undercover operation that was to take place in the church basement. He was all, "Here's where the stuff is (underneath the floor?) and call this cell phone when the bad guys are done and then set off the bomb like this." And I'm like yes, ok, right, I like what you've done here, yes, got it. I go downstairs, and on my way, I pass my dad on the staircase and he's like you look nice but then he left (kinda like Jack Bristow).

So the real thing happens. The deal goes down. The operation commences. (Note: I have no clue what the real thing, deal, or operation actually is.) I'm in this room in the church basement, standing behind a folding table like I'm at a trade fair or something, ready for the bad guys to come in. There's a secret knock at the door, and I'm like shoot I forgot what the knock is, oh well I guess it's them, and let them in. But it's not the bad guys I was expecting—it's Claire Danes and Kate Winslet. I think, hm, are they working for the bad guys? Or are they other bad guys posing as the real bad guys I'm expecting? So I'm all talking about this deal with them, and checking out their eyes to see if they're lying or for real. Somehow, there is a close-up camera shot of their eyes, kinda like in old westerns when they zoom in before a showdown, to add to the drama or who-will-draw-first. So, it went: close-up of Danes, cut to close-up of Winslet. Back to full screen.

So then I decide, ok, I'm ready to do this stuff, but shoot, what am I supposed to do again? What did Giles say? When do I call his cell? Where's the stuff I'm supposed to give to them? How do I set the bomb off? Why didn't I write any of this down? (This would never happen to Sydney.) So by now, Kate and Claire are getting impatient, mad, and ready to blow me away. I started to freak out, crazy style, and franctically searched for the bomb, knowing that if I found it, I wouldn't know how to set it off anyway. Just as I lose all hope and resign myself to the fact that my life, and career as a spy, will most assuredly be cut short by the bullet of one of Leonardo DiCaprio's leading ladies ... Luke Skywalker runs through the swinging door to save the day. He, of course, knows exactly what to do. He finds the bomb, which is underneath the table I'm standing behind, bends down, and claps twice right above it, setting it off. Evidently, this bomb is installed with a Clapper, and two claps activate it. Skywalker grabs my hand, pulls me out of the room, and sprints upstairs, cuz we have 30 seconds to get out of the building. But I'm like wait, we can't run so fast, we have to tell everyone! Cuz evidently people were in services and class and stuff. On every floor I yell, "BOMB! 30 SECONDS! RUUNNNN!!!" I did this seven or eight times. So everyone evacuates and waits on the street for the explosion, but nothing happens, and everyone's mad that I disrupted their afternoon.

Then Kari and I decide to chase the bad guys. We follow them out of town, to a farm. She's like, I'll check the house, you check the barn. So I walk in the barn, and I see a super sweet papasan chair in the corner, that looked so, so comfortable. (And the barn was actually more like a fancy outdoor weddingish tent than a barn.) But at the moment I thought, man, I want to sit in that chair, my sleuth skills kicked in and I realized, duh, it's the torture chair, and it looks so inviting cuz they want to lure you in. So I realize this, turn to run and leave, and they see me. They're like, get in the chair. I'm like crap. I. am. so. dead. They force me into the chair, where I knew I'd be tortured.

At this point in my sleep cycle, I am struggling with wakefulness—I briefly awake, decide nooooo I can't get up yet, doze back off, and am back to my dream, in the torture chair. Then I realize NOOO I'm gonna be tortured, I have to wake up!! I make myself wake up again, don't want to get up (again), and go back to sleep and face the torture. This process repeats itself like four times until I get up.